Transfigure My Heart
by MisguidedSanity
Summary: Many people couldn't figure out what had caused Lily Evans to eventually fall for james Potter. What did he do for her? What did she learn or unviel in him? Find out by reading! :  M for future! ;   I apologise for any chronological order mistakes!
1. Prologue!

**I failed at my last story. Epicly. But this has more potential. I am looking forward to writing this! This is just a prologue. The rest of the story will continue a few years in the future. This was just a glimpse of first year Lily. I will probably change this! Hope you like my very short prologue! :)**

**Leanne.**

**Disclaimer: J.K Rowling is a wealthy literary Goddess. I am not her. Thus why I'm on and in a luxury spa getting a full body hot stone massage.**

It never seizes to amaze James Potter how interesting and satisfying Transfiguration is. It was his subject. Sure, even though he made sufficient grades in all of his classes, nothing else worked out quite so well as Transfiguration.

In his youth, at the sweet age of eleven, he mistakenly said "When Professor McGonagoll kicks it, that job is mine. I just hope I'm a bit nicer with the homework." Unfortunately the poor boy did not know that the very Professor in question was standing right in front of him. Thus, an undeserved detention. Scrubbing floors was not his favourite way to spend a Saturday night.

This first detention landed him with him first 'Lily Experience.' Lily Evans was left to empty, clean and re-stack all of the shelves of the Transfiguration classroom for some idle charm work in the corridors that Filtch did not approve of. Unfortunately without magic. James tried to chat with Lily, tried to be funny and really made an effort to impress her with impressions of Professor Slughorn. This did not impress Lily. She already liked potions and respected Professor Slughorn. Lily distracted herself by propping a book open and reading it as she cleaned to stop herself from getting angry at James for his immature behaviour.

The night also involved a visit from a one Sirius Black, who tried to trip James up on the already slippery floor, and also a quiet Remus Lupin who looked nervous and pained to be out at night, as if frightened he would be caught. Courteously Remus helped Lily stack the shelves of buttons, matchstick boxes and tea-pots back to their place and this didn't go unnoticed by James. Trying to catch Lily's attention, James offered to assist Lily with reaching the top shelves, with him being the tallest of the four in the room. James overestimated himself and slipped from the first shelf upon which he perched to fall to the ground with thirty odd plates crashing down around him.

When Lily tried to pull James up to his feet and clear the ceramic debris from his clothes, James couldn't help but smile like an idiot, for reasons he could not figure out.

This was Lily's first impression of the bumbling idiot who chased her for many years afterwards, not the man she eventually fell in love with.


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer, Smishmaimer. Obviously I am not, nor believe I am J.K. Rowling or I own Harry Potter. I am up at half 4 in the morning. if I was rich, I wouldn't do that! I'd be asleep in my luxury Egyptian cotton sheets. :)**  
**Enjoy this! It took a long time to write. **

By July 1977, Lily Evans was 17, head strong, extremely clever and was most definitely on Dumbledore's side of the war. Being a Muggle-born, it was a dangerous and her parents had, numerous times, asked if she would rather stay home as complete A-levels but she refused, insisting Dumbledore would never allow harm to come to her or anybody else while she was at Hogwarts. While it was safer for her to leave her house alone, rather than with her parents who could not perform the slightest spark of magic, her father did insist he would go with her to Diagon Alley to shop for her school books for her very last year of Hogwarts.

The sun glistened across the quite road one July morning as Lily Evans walked down the driveway of her house to the car. Her dad closely followed her, scowling at the long drive they had ahead of them.

"Your mum wants you to stay at home, you know, love," Richard Evans whispered to his daughter as the two walked out the front door of their family home.

"I know, daddy, but I will really be safer at school. Dumbledore said-"

"I know what Dumbledore said and frankly I agree. There's all those teachers to protect you there. All I've got is a rounders bat," her dad joked, walking to the car and unlocking the door. Lily climbed into the back seat of the Toyota and leaned forward to her dad.

"That's exactly what I'm worried about, you trying to act the hero. I love school, I want to go back. I wish I didn't have to leave at the end of this year."

"I'll be glad to have my Lily-pad back home."

"I have two months at home now and you're at work all day!" Lily complained, prodding her dad playfully on the shoulder.

"It's summer, honey, blooming flowers everywhere." Lily sighed at her father's explanation. He was a horticulturist, a career her mother got him into when they met and she took over the family florist from her parents.

"Where is mum anyway? I thought she was coming with us?"

"She was on the phone with Petunia. Your sister is after having yet another fight with Vernon over the wedding." Richard explained with a sigh of exhaustion. Lily rolled her eyes and nodded. All summer was about Perfect Petunia and her Perfect Wedding Day.

"Honestly, this belongs on Coronation Street. Fighting every day of place mats and name cards! Oh there is mum now!" Lily almost cried with relief.

"Well it's about time!" Richard grumbled as he started the engine. "We've a five-hour drive, Violet!"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming. Hold on," Lily's mum climbed into the car, a scowl on her face. "Honestly, your sister wants us to _buy_ the china for all of our guests at the wedding-,"

"You mean their guests?-" Lily tried to butt in.

"I told her we'll buy it for the family table and that's it!"

"Wait. Family table?"

"Yes dear, the family table, you know, the Dursley's and ourselves. We have to sit with Petunia."

"_We?_ I don't want to sit up beside Petunia. She doesn't even want me at the wedding!"  
"Yes dear but we arranged it so you wouldn't even miss any school! And it would look terrible if the Dursleys thought we lived in some kind of divided home." Violet explained, her voice getting more panicked at every new word. "I'm sure I showed you the seating plan."

"Yeah, I just glanced at it, mum. I was more worried where Uncle Hilbert would be sitting and who I have to be feeling sorry for after he eats the chicken,"

"Yes well, we have him near the door to the courtyard, dear,"

"Do I have to buy a dress for the wedding too?" Lily perked up slightly. It wasn't often she got to dress up at Hogwarts and a wedding meant a glamorous dress.

"Well you will be in the bridesmaids dresses with Joan and Sue," Violet started to shuffle through papers and notes. She was so absorbed she didn't notice Lily freeze and go completely quiet. Richard, who had phased out of the conversation caught Lily's eye in the rear view mirror.

"Lily, are you okay?"

"Bridesmaids? When did this happen?" Lily almost yelled as her mother continued to look through her notes.

"Well cousin Frances will be having her baby around the time of the wedding and you are the only one left."

"I'm sure Petunia can survive with only two bridesmaids,"

"Lily it wouldn't kill you to do this for your sister!" Violet snapped.

"It wouldn't kill her to talk to me every now and again or acknowledge that I actually exist!" Lily snapped back before falling back into her seat and closing her eyes.

Lily hated fighting with her mother since she got to spend such little time with her due to school. She just didn't understand why she had to be involved in Petunia's wedding to a whale. Quite literally, a whale. She wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep, she just knew she woke up just as they were driving through Harlow. She stretched out her back and let out a huge yawn before looking at her parents. The car was hot though the strong breeze coming through her mother's open window refreshed Lily as she tried to wake herself up.

"What time is it?" Lily rubbed her eyes and blinked, trying to adjust to the brighter sun.

"Just gone one. We'll get something to eat before going to Diagon Alley." Richard looked back at Lily with a smile. "Are you hungry."

"As ever. I didn't eat breakfast." Lily put her hand to her stomach and listened to it growl. "Mum? I'm sorry I snapped..."

"Lily, I wish you would understand the importance of this wedding!"

"I do too! Then I could understand why you are freaking out over it. Petunia doesn't want me at the wedding, let alone standing beside her as a bridesmaid. You do it, mum,"

"Lily don't be silly. Those dresses are not for me!"

"Mum, get them to alter it. Higher neck line and less frills for you. Petunia would prefer you." Lily was hoping she had her mother won over. Violet smiled and turned to look back at Lily.

"You know what, I'll call her from the hotel."

3 3

After that brief argument the day went smoothly. After dropping their night bags off at the hotel, Lily guided her parent's through the Leaky Cauldron and followed Bathilda Bagshot out through the disappearing wall. Their first stop was Gringott's to exchange their Pounds into Wizarding Gold. With every step Lily took, she grew increasingly more excited to be in Diagon Alley. It didn't take long to find Dorcas Meadows in Gringotts. She was just coming out of the door that leads to the vaults when Lily heard her cry her name. Lily groaned, gaining attention as Dorcas skipped over to her, a large smile on her face.

"Lily, how are you?" Dorcas Smiled as she pulled Lily into a hug.

"I'm well, and you?" Lily returned the hug but not quite as tight. It would be a disaster if both girls fell to the floor due to broken ribs and compressed lungs.

"Fantastic. Ray just bought me a new broom. He's really trying to suck up to me. Maybe having him as a step-father wouldn't be the worst thing in the world" Dorcas trailed off, looking over to where her mother and Ray stood holding many parcels and a noticeably long package, obviously broom shaped. Dorcas was nice, Naive but good. She was kind to Lily and befriended her after the day Snape called her a Mud-blood. Dorcas was a fantastic Quidditch player and very clever. Outside of the Quidditch robes, she was a complete girl. She always wore bright clothes and loved to fashion ribbons into her hair in creative ways. Dorcas was girly, but tough. She aspired to be a Auror, though Lily thought that she has to seriously become less easily led to become a good Auror. She had a two week intern-ship in Alastor Moody's office during the summer, mostly clearing up the paper work that Moody never sorted himself.

"I only just arrived. Will we meet for something to eat in an hour?"

"Excellent, sounds great! I still have to get a new set of robes fitted and then I'll be over to the pub,"

"See you in a while," Lily smiled, turning to return to her parents. She couldn't wait to eat. Lily had a stomach that could devour anything and everything once cooked. Her parent's prefer to eat in the Wizarding world when they could. They loved seeing everything zoom around the pubs or restaurants themselves and plates of dinner delivering itself to the customers.

Lily dragged her parents around from shop to shop, mostly unnecessary ogling at silly but charming trinkets and gadgets. She loved her fathers expression when they passed the the Florists, in complete awe, jealously and wonder while dodging a rather nasty Venus fly trap.

Her mother on the other hand was distracted by the small pansies that sang sweetly when the sun hit them right.

"These are wonderful, Lily, I do wish I could have them in my garden." Violet cooed at the colourful arrangement.

"I'll get them for you for Christmas, they last all year round. I can put a concealment charm on them so nobody else could hear them sing." Lily explained, already knowing what charm she would cast upon them.

"They sound so peaceful. Do you know anyone who could do it for me now, dear?" Violet laughed softly, though Lily knew she was deadly serious.

"Well well well, flowers for the young lady," a familiar voice spoke clearly, with a hint of entertainment. "Are you buying flowers for your sister, Lily?"

Lily looked up to see Sirius Black lend a wink to her mother. Suppressing a shudder, she met his eyes with a glare, not exactly rude, but not welcoming.

"Always the pleasure, Black." Lily spoke coldly, hoping to leave as soon as she could. Where Sirius Black was, James Potter would easily be a stones throw away.

"Lily, don't be rude. Is this a classmate of yours?" Violet spoke, a girlish giggle in her voice. Just as Lily opened her mouth to reply, Sirius stepped between her and her mother and stuck out his hand to shake.

"Sirius Black, madam, pleasure to meet you. I can see where Lily gets her glistening eyes," Sirius interjected, charmingly and as pleasant as he could possibly be.

"Sirius...? I don't mean to be rude but isn't that a star?" Violet asked, taking Sirius's hand to shake.

"I shine brightest, ma'am. It's a family name." Sirius took a step back and looked to Lily. Lily's mother walked quietly back to the singing pansies.

"Listen, um... go easy on James, please... he's having a rough time," Sirius took a glance towards the counter of the shop, allowing Lily to follow his gaze. She saw James handing over a few galleons over the counter and signing his name on what seemed to be an order form.

"It can't be that bad if he's sending flowers to a date," Lily chuckled, not understanding what Sirius was saying. "Or are they apology flowers?"

"Lily, Mrs. Potter passed away the other day... They are casket arrangement flowers." Sirius closed his eyes for a brief moment before looking to Lily again. "She was pretty sick since Easter, only James didn't know until he came home from school in June. He was close to his mother, he's taking it hard."

Lily smacked her hand over her mouth, unsure what to say. She had met James's mother only once before; at Kings Cross Station. "Oh my gosh, I... I..." Lily's voice shook, stuck for words.

"The funeral is tomorrow, he would appreciate it if you would come."

"I don't know, I wouldn't want to intrude, and I don't know if I could get down here."

"You could stay at the house, it's huge." Sirius explained. "Remus will be there, and Peter too."

"Sirius, I don't know. That would definitely be intru-" Lily was cut off again, this time by a different voice.

"Evans," James looked at her, trying to pull up a smile but couldn't muster the heart to. Lily looked at him, the light had leaked from his eyes. He looked like a different person; pale and somehow thinner. Lily didn't know what to say, tears prickled her eyes at the site of him. She couldn't imagine what it felt like to lose a parent. She stood there frozen, gazing at the boy who she didn't even seem to recognise as James Potter.

"James, I'm so sorry..." Lily's voice shook. She reached her hand out and placed it on James's arm.

"Don't be." James mumbled, gazing down at the floor.

"If you need anything, just... anything at all, just ask." Lily said before wrapping her arms around James, not as tight as a friendly hug but tight enough to attempt to comfort him. Hugging James Potter was the last thing Lily would think she would ever do but she couldn't help it. He looked absolutely destroyed inside.

"Thank you," he muttered, loosely returning the hug.

"Don't worry about it. Do you want to eat with us? We are going for food now in the Leaky Cauldron." likely offered, hoping the concept of food, a big favourite of James's would perk him up, even just a tiny bit. James just shook his head.

"C'mon mate, you need to eat." Sirius said, nodding to Lily. Lily collected her parent's just before her father got splashed with Bubbotubber Pus and guided them down to the leaky cauldron, knowing Sirius would eventually convince James to follow.  
Lily was particularly fold on James and Sirius but she hated seeing anyone in pain like that.

3 3

As they entered the almost-empty pub, Lily turned to her parents before they sat down.

"Mum, Dad, James's mother died... I think I'm going to stay here for the funeral." she explained, slowly sitting down at a table large enough to fit the five of them.

"Oh sweetie, I don't know. Where would you stay?"

"Dorcas lives in Rugby, I can stay there maybe. She's meeting us here soon. James and Sirius are on their way over too."

"Should we go with you?"

Lily's father asked.

"Absolutely not! Look, James is from a Pure Blood family. While his parent's are as pleasant as they come towards Muggles, everyone else is not. I say there will be many high up wizards here and Muggles at a Pure-Blood funeral will _not_ go down well. I'll be fine, really. You guys won't be."

"I don't know honey, if anything happens..." Violet started but stopped as a young man walked over to their table. They all looked up and Lily almost jumped for joy when she saw Remus Lupin standing there.

"Remus!" Lily almost cried out, standing up to hug him. "It's good to see you. How are you?"

"I could be better... bad week for me," Remus said with a knowing look. Lily and Remus had history, and a major part of that history was Lily figuring out about Remus's... disorder, for lack of a better word.

Remus greeted Lily's parents, recalling meeting them last year after the end of fifth year.

"Remus, you do look tired, are you okay?" Violet asked, with a concerned glance to Lily.

"Oh um, I- eh.." Remus stuttered, with a sideways glance to Lily.

"Remus has Anaemia, remember I explained that. It can get very bad, mum." Lily spurted out.

"Ah yes dear. I think a steak for you then?"

"Oh no, it's okay. I don't eat meat. Maybe cabbage will do me better."

"Oh dear, pet, I hope you feel better," Remus recoiled at the word _pet_ but it went unnoticed by Violet. Lily gave him a warm look but Remus just shook his head and looked at the table.

"Have you seen James and Sirius?" Lily asked Remus, unsure if he had any contact with them yet during the summer.

"Yes, I was staying at the manor last week but I went back home... for um, a change of clothes," Remus quickly looked around the room but nobody was paying attention to him except Lily.

"I home James is okay... He looks awful. I can't imagine what he is going through..."

"It's tough, losing a parent... worst thing in the world," Remus muttered. He hardly ever spoke of losing his dad before, Lily only knows he died when Remus was very young and it had something to do with another werewolf.

"What was wrong with Mrs Potter?" Lily asked, afraid of what the answer would be.

"She had a bad infection in her liver and lungs. Scrolfungulus apparently." Remus explained, hushing his voice even more.

"Oh gosh, poor thing." Lily sighed just as she saw James and Sirius walk through the pub door, followed by Dorcas and her mother and step-father. They all came to join Lily and her family, Dorcas's mother taking a seat beside Lily's and James seating himself between his best friends.

Soon Dorcas's parents and Lily's were talking avidly about their different 'worlds' while Dorcas chatted to Lupin about the Ancient Runes homework they had over the summer.

After idle chit-chat, Sirius went to the bar to order food, which gave Lily a chance to talk to James, who claimed not to be hungry.

"Look James, I am really sorry about your mum. She was a wonderful woman. I wish there was something I could do for you." Lily leaned over Remus to talk to James.

James looked up at Lily then to the window. His eyes widened instantly and he pulled out his wand. "Get down," he said quickly but quietly enough not to startle everyone else.

"Excuse me?" Lily asked, wondering what he was looking at but before he could answer, she saw black figures outside the pub. The air seemed to chill, like a sharp breeze as windows began to frost.

"What are Dementors doing inside of Diagon Alley?" Lily almost screamed as she stood up, pulling her own wand out. The few people who were in the pub went into a panic, screaming about locking doors and Aurors. Tom had already stumbled to the door, pushing through the small crowd and placing enchantments on the doors and windows.

"Alright everyone, listen up!" he tried to shout over the crowd. Lily turned to Remus who she spotted running to the window. Lily didn't hear Tom's instructions as she followed Remus to the window, checking to see what they were searching for. The streets were chaos, people running everywhere, shooting useless spells at the Dementors. All Lily could think was doom, and the end of her life, or her soul rather. Fear and bad memories filled her head as she tried to summon the nerve to actually do something about the Dementors.

"Lily, can you produce a Patronus?" Remus asked, as Sirius joined his side. Lily shamefully shook her head. It wasn't something they had covered in school and she never had to cast the spell before.

"Right, get your parents out the back door and Apparate with them immediately, to your own back garden." Remus instructed.

"Remus, I've never Side-long Apparated with two people before!" Lily was beginning to panic. Everything she had learned in school felt useless at this moment. She had only looked at over the Patronus charm in theory and couldn't possibly think of a happy memory to fill her mind with.

"Then I suggest you hide," Sirius pushed her out of the way to get a better look at the street.

"I'm not going anywhere! I can't-" Lily turned around to check on her parent's but they were gone, and so were James, Dorcas and her parent's. "Dammit!" She cursed, hoping to Merlin they were safe. Lily ran to the other window in a small nook of the pub away from the other customers, squeezing in beside a man in an odd looking cloak. Lily was about to open the window and attempt a Patronus charm when the back of her neck was seized by a cold hand. Lily tried to let out a scream but another hand caught her over her mouth. Lily kicked her legs backwards, trying to free herself, struggling against his force.

"Stay still, girl and it will be over quicker," a harsh male voice whispered. "Better you then me," Lily struggled still, trying to bite his hand but to no success. She heard glass shattering and a nasty cold waft of icy air hit her. She felt herself been thrown out the window and onto the cobbled street, chills running through her bones, leaving goosebumps along her skin. Then she felt it, the silent suction, the feeling of utter despair, her sisters words ringing in her ears, "FREAK! YOU'RE A FREAK!" Lily screamed against the memory, vaguely hearing her name being called out from the distance until everything went black.

**If any of this was unclear, please tell me in reviews! :) I need to improve how I write.**

**Here's a flower. Please review! :)**


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